Hilarious English

Eric gave his eighth graders a homework assignment to come up with a world record. These were my favorites (brackets are his corrections to make them make some sense):

"My crowd are supergirl[s].  We have Sim, Kaew, Bam, Nampu, and me. We can subdue big chickens. We subdued [a] monster, [a] big fish, [a] big newt and [a] big sable. We hoisted [a] pyramid in [the] sky. We [can] eat chocolate 1,000 bar in 1 second. We are [the] girly gang."

"Perche ate 350,000 grains [of cat food] in 1 hour.  He was hungry and he didn't know what can he do?  So, he pick[ed] the cat food from the box. And then he eat it!!!"

"Safe went in and went out [of his] home 333 times in one day. He like[s] walking. He had good shoes for walking. He happyed with this activity."

Love it.